Reem Untangled

Friday Nasiha: Be Good to your Parents


First and foremost, this advice applies to me before anyone else. That’s what’s speaking to me at the moment. Which is also pretty good timing, considering this weekend is Mother’s Day. Islam really emphasizes the importance of obeying your parents. It is extremely important to, not only obey, but also let them be pleased with you. I read a lot of hadiths and Quranic verses but this website summed it up pretty well. All of it is important, but these are a few that really stuck with me.

Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakrah narrated from his father, who said: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said (thrice), “Shall I not tell you of the biggest of the major sins?” They said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah!.” He said, “To join partners with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.” He said: He sat up, and he was reclining. He said, “And false testimony, or false speech.” And Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) would not stop saying it until we said (to ourselves): I wish that he would stop.

I knew it was important, however, I didn’t know that disobeying your parents is major sin. It’s on the same level as shirk. Wow. That’s huge.

“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood.” (Quran 17: 23-24)

“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final goal.” (Quran 31:14)

Another major area I struggle with and ask Allah to give me patience with, is respecting and pleasing your parents at an old age. It is so easy to lose patience but I have to keep that in mind all the every time. If you are pleasing your parents, in turn you are pleasing Allah. It is an act of worship in and of itself and one of the greatest. And I love that Allah doesn’t stop there, it is our duty to pray for their mercy even after they have passed.

It is not until Allah granted me the blessing of being a parent that I could truly understand and appreciate what the following quote means.

‘Ali ibn al-Husain (ra) is reported to have said: “The right of your mother on you is that you should know that nobody could endure the trouble and the conditions under which she protected you and nourished you with the juice of her life, and tried with her heart and soul to satisfy all your needs in relation to hunger, thirst, dress, etc. She passed sleepless nights, suffering anxieties. She provided you with shelter against heat and cold, and protected you from ailments. It is not possible for you to compensate her, or thank her enough for all the services, except that God may give you guidance for that. The right of your father on you is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you are a branch of the tree of his life.”


I ask Allah to make our parents pleased with us and give us the strength, means, and patience to keep serving them whether they are in our lives or not.

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